Another day has gone by and once again I get dissed. Oh whatever I really don't care but just remember I can and will diss you back. It must be true about People only being interested in you when they want something. The number one reason any organization loses people is by making them feel unnessisary or used.

I can and will find somewhere in this world where I will be appreciated, where I fit in (if that is even possible), then I will become too busy to help with their stuff when they ask. Not stupid to get caught again being caring. Actually it doesn't hurt my feelings like it used to (not fittng in) or being accepted by the status Quo.

But Getting dissed by your frends, actually leads me to believe that I am some kind of i don't know(as those well meaning people in my past have said). I should be used to it by now, but some how still makes me feel like crap. Makes invisibility feel like a valuable option. Maybe I am just too gross for words. Sometimes I just hate myself.

I honestly find people tedious and unusally annoying. It would be much nicer if I could get on with out anyone. I an soooooo tired of having to be nice. Sometimes your bestfriends can be worse than enemies. They know exacly what buttons to push to make you wish you where dead.

I honestly don't think the world revolves around me. It is all about God but it is really hard to be christian when you are under attack. And boy does Satan use every one around you and then some to take you out.

I just have to keep asking God for humility and his strength because I know I can't make it alone. I would be a basket case. oh well that is enough whining for now......