No More Pity Party

I have to now repent on line for having my little "Party".

Oh yeah this is very hard. I like to say poor me. I won't do that any more I don't like getting hurt. I am going to lock my self in so no one can hurt me. So I don't catch what they have.

Yet my biggest witness is letting people see how I pick my self up from my problems and with Gods help do miracles in my life. My life is my greatest witness to God's Glory.

There is no way I can suffer the cross like Jesus did. So why do I aways play the martyr??

I don't want to get beaten up or Killed.

I truly realize that every time I try to run and hide to " Lick my Wounds" to get away and " think" half of the time that is when the depression comes and Satan Attacks. This is usually with renewed bouts of depression and hurt.

I end up finding myself again having to repent of letting another person(s) words Hurt me and break my heart.

And Of course once again I have to repent and ask My Heavenly Father to forgive me and heal my Broken Heart.

And no matter WHAT EXCUSE I try to cover it with, wether I say I need to "get with God" I have to Pau(finish) Sulking & hiding and admit that like a spoiled child with my "no body loves me" attitude The I, me, my, mine sad story, the I need to do this alone or not be a door mat excuse.

You know I am an adult now and I will live alone I have too just to see this done.
I sit back and have to realize that I can't do this alone. Not with out God or the Help of the very friends I was gripeing about earlier.

Am I making the need to be my own person independent and incharge & take control "My IDOL????"

Acts 3:19
Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord,
(Whole Chapter: Acts 3 In context: Acts 3:18-20)

And the Lord only knows how much I need his Love and refreshing.

Lord Please Forgive me and Heal my broken Heart. Forgive me for using my childish love for my self as my Idol.

Protect me from the firey darts of my enemy. Send me you Refreshing I pray life in to my situation.